I was in Cancun, Mexico, at the time and I didn't even know my phone worked there. When I looked at the caller, it was a cousin who never calls me. I knew it had to be bad news, but I just didn't know who she was going to call about.
Unfortunately, I was right.
"We've had a tragedy in the family," she said. "Our cousin Steve was hit by a car while riding his bike in Florida. He didn't survive the accident."
I can't say that I've attended many funerals in recent years. When I went to the funeral home for visiting hours with the family, I expected it to be in a large room with a lot of people milling about, visiting with family members and friends, and then sitting around politely until it felt like a good time to leave. This was nothing like that and I was just blown away.
The funeral home was in one of the large, grand homes, built over one hundred years ago, in the center of town. It had all the charm you would expect with twelve-foot ceilings, grand arched doorways to match that height, antique furniture and elegant wall paper. I know this because I got a tour of the place. Everyone did, whether they wanted it or not. This visiting session was more like the line at a wedding to congratulate the bride and groom. The line snaked through the entire ground floor of the house and out the front door. It took an hour and a half to slowly mosey your way through to greet the family members.
I'd never seen anything like it. Visiting hours were from 4 to 7 PM, but that wasn't long enough. There were so many people who came to visit that the time extended on for an additional two hours. Obviously, my cousin Steve had a huge impact on the local community.
How does that happen? What did he do? Well, for one thing, he lived in the same community his whole life. And, his community was the farming community. In high school, Steve was involved with Future Farmers of America. He remained a supporter of that the rest of his life. He was the "go to" man for the community of farmers at the county fair as well. He was also a township trustee in the local community and active with Marion County Steam & Gas Engine Society and Mid-Ohio Antique Farm Machinery Show, Inc. If you do these things for decades, and have an infectious smile with a good heart, people will notice.
And, they did.
His funeral was standing room only. I don't ever remember seeing that before. I helped haul up extra seats from the church basement, so I had a seat. I was up close to clearly hear the man who spoke the most about my cousin. It was his best friend. He knew all the family stories and secrets so he shared a few. He was in daily communication with Steve for so many years, decades, and no better speaker could have been found. I sat through his talk thinking, "I didn't know this cousin nearly as well as I wish I did. I had no idea that he had such an impact on so many people."
Part of the reason for that was I was never in F.F.A. and never showed an animal at a county fair. The only county fair I remember was when my sister won top prize for her apple pie. (It is truly amazing.) I don't farm, have never been to the Upper Peninsula in Michigan (one of Steve's favorite playgrounds) and don't particularly like cold weather, snowmobiles, or blazing trails on ATVs. I never lived in the village where he was a trustee and cannot imagine a passion for Brussels Griffon dogs. Our circles of activity didn't overlap so much.
Gerard and Steve, down on the farmBut, one time in recent years there was an overlapping that was so very special to me. And, it was one of the last times I ever saw my cousin. I had a friend from Rwanda, interested in agriculture, who stopped by in Ohio for a few days. He very much wanted to see a local farm in Ohio while in the Buckeye State. Steve and his mother graciously welcomed Gerard to their family farm. He got to see the farming equipment up close and personally, just like he wanted. I got to see my cousin in a glimpse of what the local farming community had seen for so long. He was so friendly and welcoming to this stranger, because nobody stayed a stranger for long around Steve. His smile and laughter let Gerard know how much he enjoyed sharing with him. I left the farm so grateful for family like this who dropped everything in their plans for one of my friends from my travels.
The speaker at the funeral ended his talk with a challenge from Steve. I had never heard about this, but some time in recent memory, a story traveled the Internet that Facebook would ban or block you if you posted the Lord's Prayer on your site. When I researched this, it didn't appear to be true, but some people wrote to say that the posting would be fact checked. I haven't tried that to see. But, my cousin took it as an opportunity to write to Facebook and tell them just how important this prayer was in his life. The challenge we were given was to share the Lord's Prayer in memory of Steve. So, cuz, here is it for you.
..........Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. ..........Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. ..........Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. ..........And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. ..........For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever. ..........Amen
