I had an unexpected trip to Katmai National Park. If you’ve ever seen a photo of bears fishing for salmon on a river in Alaska, this is the place. I visited Katmai National Park last year on a beautifully sunny, warm day. It was lovely. And, it was even lovelier with Covid. Hardly anyone was at the park! My sister and I sat at the viewing deck of the waterfall undisturbed. We had it as long as we wanted. On other occasions, guests need a timed visitor pass to accommodate the hordes at the park.
This visit was like neither of those options – not too crowded and certainly not empty. Upon arrival, I spotted the same park ranger that I talked to for quite a while last year. Much to my shock (and shame), she remembered my name. How was that possible? Of course, I didn’t remember hers. Anyway, she told me that the park had recovered from last year. This season they had record numbers of visitors and a record low amount of rangers.
Upon arrival, all visitors have to go to Bear School. You learn what to do - and not do - if a bear crosses your pathway. No, thank you. You learn what you can and cannot take with you on the trail to eat or drink. Only water. If you are not sure, ask yourself, “Is this water?” If the answer is yes, you can take it. Bear School only lasted for about ten minutes. After that, I was ready to see bears.
As it turned out, it was an amazing day to see bears and fish. If you are a non-fisherman like me, you may not know that cloudy, rainy days are great days for fishing. Fish don’t like warm, sunny days. Hmmm . . . maybe that is why I don’t like fishing? Anyway, it was a chilly day and I was layered up with three layers of protective warmth. It also protected me from the occasional light rain. In spite of the chill and the rain, fishermen at camp had a record day of fishing and I had a record day of bear sightings. Everyone was happy, except for travelers who want a good tan when they travel. They would be in the wrong state if that is why they came to Alaska.
I traveled to the park with someone who had an amazing camera. My camera is at least ten years old. In camera years, I guess that is ancient, well beyond over-the-hill, and almost dead. This new camera had all the newest bells and whistles to amaze me and take incredible photos. In addition, it gave me a more than mild case of camera envy.
After a rain delay, and a break at the lounge for coffee, the owner of the camera wanted to continue lounging and I was in the mood for bears. I took his fancy, schmancy camera and headed to the waterfall. There were at least a dozen photographers at the viewing platform. Nearly every one of them had a zoom lens that was about two feet long. I eventually had my turn with the camera and then headed back the trail to the main area of the park.
Did you notice I said “trail”? It was a dirt path among the trees. Isolated. Not many guests at all. I wandered along the path looking for mushrooms and berries to photograph. I was done photographing bears.
Or, so I thought.
Yep, I had my very own Alaskan bear “tail”. There I was, innocently walking down the path, minding my own business, ‘shrooming. That’s when I looked up and I saw a huge Grizzley bear ambling down the path towards me.
I told you, I attended Bear School before walking the park. I knew that I was supposed to keep at least a fifty-yard distance from all bears. Too late to keep that rule. I was less than that distance from this guy, without bear spray, and he was moving closer and closer. You may not believe me, but I knew what to do under the circumstances. Get off the path. Let me repeat, GET OFF THE PATH! I climbed over fallen trees and vines to get a good distance away. I wanted that bear to mildly struggle if he wanted to come in my direction. But, I’d watched those critters for hours. They were surprisingly graceful and quiet. If he wanted to meet me up close and personally, in an Alaskan frontier manner, he could have done it. I would have been toast. But, thank goodness, an Ohio Buckeye isn’t nearly as delicious as Alaskan salmon. And, that was what this bear had in mind as he walked towards the waterfall.
Just barely too close for comfort, behind some logs and brushAlso, in Bear School, I was told it was wise to keep sight of the bear at all times. Well, I didn’t. I seriously wanted to, but in order to get a safe distance away from the bear, I had to lose sight of the critter. Eventually, he ambled down the path past me. Yep, he stopped and looked at me before he moved along. I took a photo, but the camera really wasn’t properly set. I mean, when your life is mildly threatened, maintaining perfect camera technology is not a priority.
So, I had my bear moment in Alaska. It was more than I needed and less than it could have been. I’ll live with it. Amanda had a much better Alaskan moment to share.
She was one of my favorite people to meet this year in Alaska. Amanda worked as a member of the kitchen staff. It’s an underpraised position. She got up each morning at 4:35 to get ready for breakfast at 7:00 for the fishermen. I don’t believe in getting up that early unless I have to go to the bathroom.
And, that brings me back to Amanda.
The kitchen crew and fishing guides live in an assortment of rustic cabins and sturdy tents on the campgrounds. I, personally, would not enjoy a sturdy tent for several months and I'm not so sure about a rustic cabin. Amanda lived in a cabin. It had a heater but no electricity. There were no sinks, no running water and no toilets.
If you are a cabin-dweller and nature happens to call you at 4:35 in the morning, your options are not the greatest. You could mosey on down to the bath house where you could find everything you need to do what you want to do. The problem is, you could find more than you need. In those wee hours, when the area is covered with a morning fog, bears tend to roam the fishing camp. If you are on your way to the bathroom, you don’t want a bear to show up. That would cause anyone to go wee, wee, wee all the way home in their pants.
Amanda is nobody’s dummy. Her mama didn’t raise no fool. And, she figured out a way to solve her problem that didn’t involve a long walk in the moonlight, under a starry sky, with a giant beast ready to slash her throat. No, she went around to the backside of her cabin. And if you need additional details, or if you want me to draw you a picture, it just isn’t going to happen.
She went behind her cabin.
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Amanda squatted in the darkness “practicing her multiplication facts” or “pondering the wonders of the universe” when she heard a noise. She thought it was another one of her fellow campers. Since she didn’t want to flash them while she “recited the alphabet backwards”, she flashed the person with her flashlight. The Beautiful Amanda at her Rustic CabinAnd, she saw the whites of their eyes!
Well, maybe she didn’t. Actually, she saw a bear, face-to-face, while the bear saw a bare bottom. Amanda did what everyone would do under those circumstances. She screamed, “Save me! Help! I’m Terrified!”
Perhaps it was the light in his eyes. Perhaps it was the shrill screaming of a terrified camper. Fortunately, the bear was as frightened as Amanda and he dashed off into the darkness. Amanda dashed, too, but it isn’t easy to run your fastest when you are trying to gather all your clothing about you. So, just like in a horror movie when a person falls at the worst possible moment, Amanda tripped and fell flat on her face as she reached the front of her cabin. The worst possible moment! Very fortunately, no bear was present to witness the fall or slash her throat.
Under normal conditions, Amanda wouldn’t head to the kitchen until the generator was turned so there were lights. She thought my sister was already in the kitchen that morning. No, she was wrong. Nearly dead wrong. The lights were on because the motion detector worked properly. There were two bears lurking in the camp that morning. One critter turned on the motion detector while the other strolled down the path for a personal encounter with Amanda.
Safely behind her cabin door, Amanda waited for my sister to finally arrive for breakfast preparations. Only then would she set foot outside her cabin. When she finally came to work, understandably a little late, she had a barely believable tale of an encounter with a bear who barely saw a bare bottom. But (butt?), she survived and had the best bear “tail” of the season.
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